0009Tuesday 23 April 2018

Very full day today. I did get stuff done for a change so I should feel more accomplished than I do, but as usual there were many things I should have done before today which I knew I would need to have today, so I was rushing to get everything done on time, also struggling a little to do things in the right order.

Had lots of time to think while waiting for one thing or another (including buses). Had lots of ideas for things I want to write about and do (here). Scribbled a lot of notes that I might not be able to decipher now. I'm enjoying being inspired, though. Just need more time... or a better ability to organise myself. Story of my life, yo.

B seemed to be ignoring me. I sent a few texts, hours apart, on different topics, like, not all nagging "why don't you answer me" whiny shit, because nobody wants to see that. Eventually he responded to one of them (but not the first and not the last) after I'd given up and plonked down to watch tv. So I missed any possible opportunity to have a bit of a chat with him, because by the time I noticed he'd responded it was 11pm. *sniffles*

Ate sparingly today but with good nutrition. Wish I could achieve that every day.

Napped a bit. Dreamt about (old schoolfriend) Rita who I lost contact with years ago. I think it was her. Or perhaps my namesake, as a teenager? Those two do tend to blur together in dreams. We'd apparently been out somewhere the night before and she was showing me a video of what we'd got up to, including our hair & wardrobe prep, of which I had no memory whatsoever. I was amazed at how good I looked, having had my hair done professionally. It was so shiny and thick (hair extensions??) and such a nice colour (pinkish dark red). Not my reguar thin tired useless unstyleable boring-brown birdsnest masquerading as "hair". It's making me sad now thinking of it (missing the friendship I used to have with Rita) so I'll stop.

Can't say anything else right now because although I am brimming with things to say, they don't belong in the diary.

Yours dysfunctionally inspiredly,
Tansy

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